Do you wonder what it takes to keep a marriage healthy and strong across a lifetime? In this video, Betty and Fred discuss what it means to deal with marital conflict even when it is difficult. Betty and Fred identify three important tasks when dealing with couple conflict:
1. Hear each other:
We often think of listening to your spouse or partner as a one-directional task. As long as I understand you, then that means I’m listening. But there’s a catch, if your spouse or partner doesn’t know that you get it, then you’re not listening. Listening is a two-way street. If you can walk away from an argument disagreeing, but still certain that your spouse heard you, then you’ve been successful.
2. Be comfortable with conflict:
Betty tells us that if you’re not fighting, then you’re not talking to each other. It is impossible for married couples to go through life without arguing because we are autonomous people. If a couple is not arguing, it is usually because one partner or spouse does not have a voice. Choose to engage marital conflict rather than run away from it, just have conflict that reaffirms your love for each other rather than disconfirms it.
3. Love each other away from conflict:
Fred helps us understand that love in a marriage or long-term relationship is cultivated. It is not organic or natural. It is created and sustained. Cultivate your commitment to each other by making simple choices throughout the days that reaffirm your love for each other.
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